(illusion)

Is it all just fake, I wonder? I mean, think about it...how many different personalities does one person have? One has to put on a different face for different occasions. We don't care, as long as someone looks happy and puts on a smile...it's all OK for us. But what if that person's only faking a smile? Do we even care to look into their eyes, bother to ask what is wrong?
That brings me to another point. Is the whole world an illusion? Money? Happiness? Love? How are we to know if any of these are really what matter? In the end, the money will be gone. Happiness? What is happiness? Is happiness that point when you're satisfied? Satisfaction's not real either. We can be satisfied with anything really-but the more we have the less we are satisfied. That doesn't make us happy. So what is happiness? Just another illusion?

(calling)

So they say we all have a calling, a talent, a purpose. The main question is what is that purpose? You eventually reach that inevitable question of "why am I here?" How do you answer that? I mean, how can we really be sure that what we're doing is really what we're meant to be doing? Do we just go with the flow and let the things that are happening around us just happen? Or should we rebel? How do you know what's right?
I think life's just a four letter word that says so much. Sometimes you're left with that feeling-you know the one-where you just feel like there's so much you don't know about the world. You feel small and shrunken and just alone. All alone. It's times like these that I turn to my writing, and I'd say that's my calling. It may not be my job, or what I want to pursue as a career, but it's still my calling. It's what helps me let myself out. It's where I can just easily be me. Maybe that's what a calling is. But again, I'm just one person aren't I? There's so much I don't know, but that's life.

(subjectless)

Hmm...
What's boredom really? I mean it gets really frustrating, you know? when you have nobody to blame but yourself-and we as people hate blaming ourselves for anything-it's always someone else's fault. With boredom, it's your fault you're not getting up off your bottom and doing something worthwile..and if you think about it you can't say there's nothing to do because there's always something to do...unless you're living in a cave all by yourself with nothing but darknes..but, I don't think you are.
Well I'm off now.